The polyamorous community is in great need of a dating site that is specifically designed for those in open relationships. Currently, OKCupid is the go-to on-line dating destination for the ethically non-monogamous, but it has its limitations. Polyamorous people on OKCupid spend too much time filtering out recommended matches who are not actually interested in a relationship with someone who is “available” (as non-monogamous people are labelled in OKCupid land).
On the plus side–and it’s a huge plus–OKCupid is popular enough to attract a significant number of users, especially in larger cities, including a reasonable number of polyamorous or poly-friendly folks. Having a big enough pool of potential candidates is the most important factor for a dating site–more important than design or functionality. A good example of this is PolyMatchMaker; it seems to lack that critical mass of users to be the go-to place to find your poly match.
There are plenty of dating sites geared towards the swinging community, such as AdultFriendFinder and Cafe Desire. There is also the local Toronto Menage-a-Quatre, which is associated with Club M4–a swingers club that has recently started running some events for people who are polyamorous.
So is it time for a new polyamory dating site that will attract enough users to flourish? The authors of Sex At Dawn say yes, yes it is time! And so they present to us, KoTangle. KoTangle is dubbed as “a global community of sexy, ethical, adventurous people”, and is currently in alpha testing. Anyone can sign-up to help test and provide feedback about the site. The real question is whether KoTange will attract enough people to become the new polyamory dating site that this community is longing for.
Kit O’Connell is running a seven-part series on how to use OKCupid for polyamorous dating. The series covers everything you need to know, and has detailed, step-by-step guides. Highly recommended.
While OKCupid doesn’t specifically cater to those in open relationships, it is one of the most poly-friendly dating sites available. There are a significant number of polyamorous people on OKCupid, and its system of using match percentages based on users answering questions tends to be quite good at showing you potentially compatible people.
It would be great if OKCupid would add some functionality that would make it even easier for those in open relationships to find like-minded others. For example, it could allow you to exclude everyone who is looking for someone “single” from your search. Along the same lines, you should be able to search specifically for people who are listed as “available”. OKCupid’s stance on this is that if you answer enough match questions, these sorts of people will show up anyways. This is true, but it still takes a bunch of time to filter out the monogamous or not-poly-friendly types.
Overall, if you’re in an open relationship, OKCupid is one of your best options for finding people to date. Check out Kit’s series to get started.